One of the biggest battles I and many others face will be the battle within yourself.
Ever since I was a kid brought up by a sporting dad, Gaelic football and normal football for the most part but he also dabbled in cricket I was raised to be always an aggressive sportsman, my Dad lost teeth as a Gaelic keeper and every time he told the story there was a look of pride in the pain.
Sadly I don't have the same natural ability as my my old man who has since passed away, but I was instilled with a mentality to win at all costs, whether that is in sport, be first up the stairs at the tube (Ive been known to have races no-one else knew they were involved in) or even board games at Christmas I will do anything, and everything to win. I have cried on rugby pitches after results that didnt matter in sheer frustration, and have seen more red and yellow cards than I can count - I think I still have the school record!
In rugby matches I have dived and smothered the ball when the referee couldn't see to slow down a game so my team-mates could get a breather, in 5- a side football as recently as a week ago I identified a player who while also really f**king annoying was also the oppositions best player and smashed him off the pitch. To sum up I have always loved sport, but havent been sporting.
Boxing has started to change that.
Today we were introduced to 2 aspects of boxing training, which both made me love this experience a little bit more, and question the way I have dealt with sport.
1) Hill Sprints - As Scott mentioned in the gym after the training he has run up hills far more steep than the one we faced today, but with a gut full of fruit and fibre and Red Bull the one we faced today was more than enough for me, and as we laboured up the hill, pushing and shouting each other along ( when breath allowed) I realised that, yeah its a sport where on the night for the minutes you are one on one it is an individual sport, but the build up, the training and the sheer f**king horrible workouts you endure as a group means that you bond and I want everyone to finish, and finish well.
2) Sparring - Nothing prepares you for the moment when you step in the ring and have your first real, even not at full pace spar. We have done a bit of body work but this was different, when Pat came forward and started landing what felt like decent punches to my head, face and body it was like he was everywhere, my training went out the window and I crouched into the shots and got punished, Scott was calling for me to move and use the left jab, and I could hear him but it wasnt happening so easily....BUT...I refuse to feel discouraged its the first feeling of being inside a ring, it felt real and even with my head ringing it felt right. I made sure I went straight to my sparring partner when he got out of the ring and asked his advice and bumped gloves, I chatted to the folk who watched the sparring round the ring, Charlie, Leo and the other guys and I felt shit about my performance but fearless about doing it all again till I get it right. No-one said I got spanked, which I did, I got properly schooled. but all just passed on encouragement.
I know everyone who trains will read this but I reckon I will be pretty emotional on the 2nd of August when the fighting is over, the lights have dimmed, I have been dragged by my ankles from a Camden watering hole and we head off our separate ways, I have no doubt I will keep training with Scott and see many of the guys and girls for beers (sorry, protein shakes) and catch ups after this but this feeling of being in it together will be hard to beat.
I want start to wrap up this weeks blog in the usual way by saying thank you. Thank you to the people coming on the night - I promise I will get over my defensive issues and give you a great fight and an ever greater night out, thanks to the people who sponsored me and are helping to make the lives of the homeless in London a bit more bearable by your donation, in a world wear every other person is doing something sponsored your generosity is well received Thanks to Scott our trainer who continues to push to get the best out of us all, and a big, big thanks to my mates at boxing, you push me on, you keep me trying to improve and I cannot wait to get on it with you after the last bell rings.
Finally for my pops, when you booted those footballs into space in the back garden, and they went so high they came down with snow on so you could build up my fear of heading the ball, I hope I am making you proud now mate. Rest easy.x
Big Love
The Bear
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